Blocked

I don't really know what to write about. I took my son to the batting cages, because as an adult I realize that being good at a sport is not the be all and end all. But, my kid is nine and to him it is. So I was hitting some pitches with him and now my fucking hand is all swollen and black and blue. It really really hurts. Typing is hard, mostly due to the fact that I really cannot move my thumb.

I have come to the conclusion that I really need structure in my life. I have no self discipline at all. Last weekend I was without my wife and kids. This pretty much left me to my own devices which included a lot of drinking, fast-food, and oddly enough mingling with the Amish. It took me days to get back to normal. I also tend to spiral out of control rather quickly when I am not working everyday. I have been a teacher for about 12 years, during which time I have only taken one summer off. It wasn't pretty. After about a week I could no longer remember what day it was. Shortly after that my kids had to start reminding me to bathe and change my clothes regularly. I started to loose mental functioning and began to find myself fascinated by shiny things. Without structure I begin to devolve and it gets tougher and tougher to claw my way back.