Schlemozzle

There are basically two types of jerks in the world. Here is the story, a guy goes to the movies, buys popcorn and soda and all of that crap. On the way back to his seat he dumps all of his stuff all over the place, this man is a schlemiel. The poor bastard he dumps all of this stuff onto is the schlemozzle. Currently, I am life's schlemozzle. Right now I am in the midst of a shit storm of luck that will most likely become the stuff of legend. Primitive tribes will someday sing songs about what an unfortunate fuck I am.

Last Thursday, my wife, who is also a teacher got her pink slip. New York has apparently run out of money. To help fix this our governor said "Hey, fuck the schools". Which is a pretty brilliant idea, because when there are no jobs the last thing you want is a bunch of educated people sitting around getting pissed off about things. So really, in the long run it will be better for the government to sabotage the educational system, keeping the future generation fat, dumb and happy. Luckily for us, other countries in the world are still educating their children, and these people will continue to develop video games, which will pacify us and keep the American masses engrossed enough to stop any possible uprising. Our state was originally going to close the state parks as well, but then they decided not to because they must have figured that all of the unemployed teachers would need a place to hang out.

So my wife was really upset about losing her job, it really sucks when someone you love is hurting like that and there is nothing you can do to help. We were sitting in our kitchen trying to look on the bright side, talking about how everyone was still healthy, attempting to put a positive spin on things. Little did we know that while we were having this conversation, some woman had apparently gently dozed off while driving and was heading directly towards our house. The positive spin conversation came to an abrupt halt when this woman's car smashed through our porch, taking out the corner of my house. Once again, by some miracle, nobody was hurt and things really could have been much, much worse.

I take the day off today to try to deal with the house situation, calling insurance companies, shit like that. I had a contractor come to the house to look at the damage and get an estimate on the repairs, and wouldn't you know it, his fucking truck slips out of park and smashes into my car. Once again, not his fault, and thank God we have our health, but this sucks. I am at the point where I want one of my mishaps to cause damage to some poor bastard. I am kind of getting tired of being on the recieving end of this fuck-fest.

All in all, I am really gratefull that we are healthy. This too shall pass.