The Horror of it all

I teach High school. Last week I was teaching an 11th grade English class, getting the kids ready for mid-term exams, doing my part to shape the minds of the future generation. Which, if you knew anything about my misspent youth, is pretty ironic. So the class is going great, kids are quiet, learning, progress is being made. I was explaining something to a kid on one side of the room when there was a sudden commotion on the other side of the room, and kids start calling my name. I turned to quell a possible uprising, because I have been teaching for a while and I know that it is pretty easy for these kids to turn on you. But, I do not find an uprising, instead, I find a kid throwing up all over his desk. Within minutes the room smells horrible, almost nightmarish. I have a stinky room full of teenagers who now are all freaking out. At this time I thought to myself "What an undignified way to make a fucking living". I have a masters degree and my job includes such duties as being told to fuck off for asking a kid to take a baseball hat off. I also, at times have to break up fights, and let me tell you when two teenage girls are fighting, they fight dirty and do not care if those breaking up the fight get hurt.

In reality though, it is not just my job. Life in general is full of a constant barrage of indignities that we all have to suffer through each day. For instance, I have the worst hair known to man. It is puffy, frizzy and sticks up all over the place. If I don't keep it short I pretty much look like I am walking around wearing a clown wig. Why is it that I have to walk through life with hair such as this?

The other day I was at a convenient store. There was some asshole at the register, who, apparently had just cashed in his 401k plan and was now investing in lottery tickets. I was stuck in an agonizing wait for my cup of coffee. There was a guy in front of me in line who was well dressed, professional looking, I suppose he was a nice enough man. While we were waiting this poor guy sneezed, and when he sneezed he farted loudly, and you could tell he was embarrassed. I thought to myself 'there but for the grace of God go I'. But, this is just an example of one of the many little things we all have to put up with on a day to day basis. Bad hair, seezefarts, acne, spilling shit on your shirt on the way to work, random cat fights at work are all examples of things that fate throws at us day after day. All of these constant little indignities either make us stronger, or reduce us to whimpering quivering shells of humanity, and when you wake up in the morning you never really know which way it is going to go.

If you were wondering, the sneezefart guy played it off like nothing happened. He just kept waiting in line and all of us tried to avoid making eye-contact with him. What can you really do in a situation like that? My first instinct would have been to drop my purchases and run out of the store yelling "You all suck".